13 Worst-Ever Movie Taglines (Inspired by Dark Knight Rises Stinker)

In light of the lame, ponderous tagline for The Dark Knight Rises ("A fire will rise"), we've waded through the very worst taglines in movie history, in order to inflict them on, er, share them with you

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49 comments
KB_Corkless
KB_Corkless

Horror amp; S.F. "B" movies of the 50s and 60s were the apex of  tagline cheesiness.

The Brain Eaters: "Crawling slimy things terror bent on destroying the world."

Day the World Ended: "The screen's new high in naked shrieking terror."

I Married a monster From Outer Space: "The bride wore terror."

The Killer Shrews: "Your skin will crawl with fear at their nearness."

The Deadly Bees: "Hives of horror! - Excited by the smell of fear, they inflict their fatal stings!"

Barbarella: "Who seduces an angel? Who strips in space? Who conveys love by hand? Who gives up the pill? Who takes sex to outer space? Who's the girl of the 21st century? Who nearly dies of pleasure?"

Hans
Hans

"What is hidden in the snow, comes forth in the thaw." 

I think 'Girl With the Dragon Tattoo belongs on here.

purnellmeagre
purnellmeagre

Another quiz - from what movie did this come?

THe man came down, the  brothers were ready. YOU must see it. It's a mother.

Palladia
Palladia

The oxide of fluorine is not "flour-ide;" it's "fluor-ide." Anyone who writes for a living out to know this.

Aaron Lindenthaler
Aaron Lindenthaler

The worst was for the movie, Diary of a Wimpy Kid.  The tagline was:

It's not a diary, it's a movie.

purnellmeagre
purnellmeagre

The best tagline ws from Cofffy Brown. Anybody remember what it was? Answer a litttle later.

Dargo
Dargo

Ben, if you are going to knock someone's English skills.  Make sure you have your own in order.  "And did not write English all that good."  Should be "Did not write English all that WELL."

mytoessmell
mytoessmell

This is sophomoric writing at best. And the author's attempt at wittiness is revolting.

Ed
Ed

Dear Ben Cosgrove:  As long as you brought up not speaking English all that well, the phrase is NOT  "And did not write English all that good."  It SHOULD be (in proper English) "And did not write English all that WELL."  If you are going to blast other writers for improper English, you better try to correct your own grammatical mistakes first.

Dane Larson
Dane Larson

And that is the sound of the joke flying high over your head.

Rhope
Rhope

I'll tell you what's lame...It's that someone thought to write an article on these.

Ryan Gallo
Ryan Gallo

Oh, I've got one from just a few months back:  "Safe House.  No One is Safe." 

ERMEHGERD
ERMEHGERD

Your article is bad, and you should feel bad.

Pppa
Pppa

"Worst Article - Worst Tag Lines!!!"  by Ben Cosgrove

Bill Green
Bill Green

The tagline for this article should be "Damn...another waste of 5 minutes"

Danny_Sunset
Danny_Sunset

Transformers 4 – Just Give Us Your Money

humtake
humtake

The Bears one is hilarious.

Nissim Levy
Nissim Levy

2) as if the phrase was first written in English; was translated into another language; and was then clawed back into English by someone who had not slept for several days. And had a raging fever. And did not write English all that good.

All that good? Looks like the writer of this article does not write English all that WELL himself!

Jeremy
Jeremy

Death Bed: The Bed that Eats People

Chicago7
Chicago7

Did not write English all that WELL.

Shauns Test
Shauns Test

I believe the grammatical error was intended to be a joke.

Rahul Singh
Rahul Singh

my

classmate's step-mother makes $74 an hour on the internet. She has been

laid off for 6 months but last month her payment was $16105 just working

on the internet for a few hours. Here's the site to read more LazyPay7.com  

Opwernby
Opwernby

You forgot "They plant the living and harvest the dead" from the seminal '70s horror flick "Invasion of the Blood Farmers"!

lenny shots
lenny shots

i was thier until the octopussy mockery. sex and the city 2 is a relevant movie? wth. must be because your a rebootard with no sense of originality. watching rebootards clamor about reboots is like watching fat 50 year old moms drool over american idol. welcome to the worship of mediocrity and unoriginality.

Jon
Jon

I think the tagline for Winter's Bone is pretty accurate as it is.  Outside of Jennifer Lawrence, you couldn't understand anyone else talking.

hellojay
hellojay

How is Dark Knight tagline lame

this movie could go down as the best movie ever made, so by making fun of it, is stupidity.

"The fire will rise"  is amazing!

miBish
miBish

ok some taglines were bad but who cares. no one reads them anyway. Its modern era we look at trailers...stop taking things to the heart bish :)

Jacob Mc
Jacob Mc

"

It’s as real as the black helicopters and the flouride the Illuminati puts in our water to keep us from taking the Red Pill. Duh."

The Illuminati is putting black helicopters in your water?  That's a bit hinky.

jmsramsey
jmsramsey

How about from 1931's King Kong: 'It wasn't the planes that killed him, twas beauty that killed the beast'?

Joshua Ballard
Joshua Ballard

Snow White A Tale of Terror "Evil, Like an Apple Comes Around"

Cat Astrophy
Cat Astrophy

The Yogi tagline was the only really bad one.

John Huston
John Huston

There HAVE been NO good tag-lines in the last 15 years.  Carnosaur:  "Driven to extinction, back for revenge."

Stevens Miller
Stevens Miller

What unimpressive picks. It's like they grabbed the first 13 movies they had on file and just used them. Then again, are there any _good_ tag lines for movies?

Personally, I think you could have more fun mocking video game titles. Based on what my son keeps buying, I expect him to come home soon with, "The Absolute End of Everthing 2"

enfilmigult
enfilmigult

Boo on the 'Octopussy' one.  "Nobody Does It Better" was the theme song of 'The Spy Who Loved Me' a few years earlier and a huge hit, and 'Octopussy' was the one that was opening opposite a Sean Connery "unofficial" Bond movie in the same summer.  Because of the competition pretty much all of the taglines used "nobody does it better" in some way or another.  It made sense in 1983, honest.

Discomurf
Discomurf

Most truthful:

"Whoever Wins We Lose"  -   Alien vs Predator

Stephen Phelan
Stephen Phelan

You are missing the best/worst of all time, although the movie is admittedly obscure. The tagline from 1984's The Prey: "It's not human. And it's got an axe!"

Charlie Vincent
Charlie Vincent

The tag line for TDKR is a reference to a Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. 

Sam Hasler
Sam Hasler

Crank 2: He was dead. He got better.