How They Crushed It: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Opening Globes Act

Recapping their first act at the awards

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Walking down the red carpet, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s SNL cast mate Andy Samberg gave Carson Daly a prediction: “They’re going to crush it.” True to form, the laff-tastic ladies delivered. Here are the high points:

The Dresses. Chic, sleek, glittery. Very hot.

Tam Honks. Intentional flub of Tom Hanks. The man who they claim is wearing prosthetic genitals.

Matt Damon’s Relative Fame. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but tonight you’re basically a garbage person.”

Explosion at the Wig Factory. The original name of American Hustle.

Amy Poehler Looks Hottt. Because they cut to a shot of Jennifer Lawrence with Poehler’s name underneath.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus Goes Garbo. Now that she’s in a nominated movie, Enough Said, she’s too cool for TV people. She’s vaping and wearing dark glasses.

The Moral Lesson of Gravity. “George Clooney would rather float into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.”

The Excess of Wolf of Wall Street. Poehler: “If I want to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I’d go to one of Jonah Hill’s pool parties.”

Timeliness. “We are going to get this done in three hours. Or as Martin Scorsese calls it: Act One.”