8 Life Lessons We Learned from Listening to the New Miley Cyrus Album

'Bangerz'—on sale next week—offers precious insights into the way Miley thinks. And it will likely rule the pop charts.

  • Share
  • Read Later

The moment that Miley Cyrus fans have long been waiting for is here.

We’re talking about Miley confirming that she is pregnant with Juicy J’s baby. Kidding!

No, of course we mean the imminent arrival of her new album Bangerz. The follow-up to 2010’s Can’t Be Tamed is in stores on October 8, but the album is now streaming on iTunes.  Eager fans, who’ve already heard the summer anthem “We Can’t Stop” and the chart-topping power ballad “Wrecking Ball,” can now hear additional tracks featuring the contributions of such guest artists as Britney Spears, Ludacris, Future, French Montana, Big Sean, and Nelly.

You can read a more serious evaluation of the album below, but we’ll start with:

Eight valuable life lessons we learned from Miley Cyrus’ Bangerz:

1.   The more you party, the less it’s a party. Or something like that.  From the track “Love Money Party”:  “Party ain’t nothing but a party / When you party every day / It ain’t nothing but a party.” Feel free to try it on your boss next time you are late for work.

2.  But don’t party too early. It’s 12 o’clock and I don’t want to party”  [“4×4”]

3. When in doubt, spell it out.  “I got two, ooh letters for you / One of them is F and the other one is U”  [“FU”]

4. It pays, literally, to have a rich father. Like Billy Ray Cyrus.  “All I need is milli’s when I got Billy on my speed dial”   [“SMS (Bangerz)”]

5.  If you want to keep a man, keep a battery pack. So advises guest vocalist (and noted relationship expert) Britney Spears  [“SMS (Bangerz)”]

6.  Work hard and stay committed to your work. Because it takes a true professional to be able to sing, with a straight face, a line like (from “Do My Thang”):  “Bang b**ch, you think I’m strange, b**ch? / It’s bananas like a fucking ‘rangutan, b**ch.” Or this one, from “SMS (Bangerz)”:  I’m flying high upon the bird, acrophobia.

7.  She who LOLs first, may not LOL last.  “Ooh it seemed like everything was going fine / I found the love that I thought was gonna last / But then I accidentally saw a few things in your cell / I even LOL’d man I should’ve known”  [“FU”]

8. Twerk if you want to.  Because, according to “We Cant’ Stop,”  “Only god can judge us/ Forget the haterz ‘cause somebody loves ya“:


As for the album itself:

Bangerz, which is co-executive produced by Cyrus and Atlanta beatmaker Mike Will Made It, is the former Disney star’s fourth studio album, but her first at the helm. With the album’s two lead singles “Wrecking Ball” and “We Can’t Stop” having topped the charts, there’s little doubt that Cyrus knows what she is doing. The album is filled with competent, if somewhat generic, pop tracks produced by a team of top-tier producers including Pharrell Williams and Dr. Luke.

The glossy tunes on the album reveal a young artist balancing earnest emotion and a staged sassiness that young fans will undoubtedly eat up. The best tracks — including “We Can’t Stop,” “Get It Right,” “4×4” and “Do My Thang” — give a hint to Cyrus’ future as an artist, namely working with skilled producers to craft catchy pop songs that will roost on the charts.

The least successful tracks on the album such as “FU” and “Someone Else” show Cyrus working out issues surrounding her very public break-up with former fiancé Liam Hemsworth.  While emotion is key to a great song, too much emotion can make a track sound like a techno dirge.

If you can’t stop and won’t stop wanting more Miley, be sure to check out Miley Cyrus: The Movement, a behind-the-scenes look at Cyrus’ infamous twerk-filled MTV Video Music Awards performance, which premieres on MTV this Wednesday at 10 p.m.

If you haven’t yet gotten on board the Miley Express, Pharrell Williams, who collaborated with Cyrus on Bangerz, offers a nice description of the Miley phenomenon in the MTV doc: “Her dad is Billy Ray Cyrus, her godmother is Dolly Parton, and she grew up in the era when kids listen to hip-hop. People ask, ‘Why is she twerking? Why is she doing this?’ Because she’s a product of America.” In short: You only have yourself to blame, so you may as well stream Bangerz online here.

MORE: Miley Cyrus, Marketing Genius