Played by: Wallace Shawn
Wallace Shawn’s Vizzini, the evil mastermind behind the kidnapping of Princess Buttercup, rocks a monk-like bald-on-top look. It’s not the most sinister style in the world, but it’s fitting that it accents the home of a brain of unusual size. It’s so much bigger than his heart that he has no qualms killing an innocent woman. It’s a brain so big he knows where never to get involved in a land war. (Answer: Asia.) It’s a brain so big he trusts it with his life, knowing that he can guess a mysterious man’s thoughts just by using logic and reason out which goblet must contain poison and which pure wine—or not. In the end, confidence in the brain in that bald head is how we find Vizzini dead. But we better stop rhyming before he catches us—when he says “no more,” he means it.
Evil deeds: Abduction, inability to conceive of improbable events