This post includes spoilers for Stephen King’s 11/22/63 and for the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” Yes, both.
Matt Selman, an executive producer of The Simpsons, has undertaken the task of writing the version of Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” as it would have been recorded in the universe of Stephen King’s 11/22/63, in which JFK’s assassination is foiled at the last minute by George Amberson (Jake Epping), based on an idea co-conceived by Simpsons writer Tim Long. He has replaced the original lyrics with only the specific historical references King includes in his revisionist history of the second half of the 20th century. For added verisimilitude, he has included lyrics about historical events that are mentioned to have happened in both timelines, King’s and ours. Why? Because this is a thing he does, and it’s not the first such song parody Matt Selman has written about for TIME.
“A few ‘real’ references have been included because A) I inferred they would have also have occurred in the King Universe, and B) I ran out of new historical information, of which the book does not give much,” Selman says. “Also, for some reason unknowable alternative history reason, alternative history Billy Joel chose to put out this version of ‘We Didn’t Start The Fire’ in 2012.”
Without further ado:
“WE DIDN’T START THE FIRE” BY BILLY JOEL (STEPHEN KING “11/22/63” VERSION)
Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnny Ray
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe
Rosenberg, H-Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, The King And I, and The Catcher In The Rye,
Eisenhower, Vaccine, England’s got a new queen
Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it
Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiov,
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc
Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dacron
Dien Bien Phu Falls, Rock Around the Clock
Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn’s got a winning team
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland
Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev
Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it
Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac
Sputnik, Zhou Enlai, Bridge On The River Kwai
Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball
Starkweather Homicide, Children of Thalidomide
Buddy Holly, Ben Hur, Space Monkey, Mafia,
Hula Hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go
U2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy,
Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it
Hemingway, Eichmann, Stranger in a Strange Land,
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion
Lawrence of Arabia, British Beatle mania
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson
Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British Politician sex,
J.F.K. NOT BLOWN AWAY, AMBERSON SAVES THE DAY!
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it
Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, EARTHQUAKE IN LOS ANGELES
MARTIN SHOT, SAIGON ROCKED, CHICAGO BURNS, HANOI DROP
WALLACE DEAD, CURT LEMAY, BYE-BYE BOMBAY
Ayatollah’s in Iran, RONALD REAGAN’S DEADLY PLAN
BLIND BEATLE, JONESTOWN, VERMONT YANKEE MELTDOWN
FORD BREEZE, MORE QUAKES, AIDS, Crack, MIAMI SHAKES
HOKKAIDO IS UNDER SEAS, PRESIDENT HILARY
MAINE LEAVES USA, WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY?
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning since the world’s been turning.
We didn’t start the fire
But when we are gone
It will still burn on, and on, and on, and on…
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBg6wn_ud2Q]