“Uwe Boll here again. For the latest in my masterclass on how to single-handedly destroy cinema, I decided to take a not particularly amazing computer game and turn it into a even less amazing movie. Lord of the Rings rip-off you say? Mein Gott, how short-sighted of you. Someone had to do it, didn’t they? And who knew Ray Liotta could play camp so well? He’s not all tough-guy this, I’m-going-to-kick-your-face-in that.”
“Ok, so maybe the movie could have done better at the box office. But you know what they say, you can’t lose if you don’t play the game.”
“That’s what they say. Right?”