I usually believe in accepting defeat gracefully. When my preferred candidates lose an election, I do not threaten to move to Canada. When my government chooses a policy I reject, I do not believe that makes it constitutionally illegitimate. Part of being a grown-up is recognizing that decent, reasonable, non-brainwashed fellow citizens can simply disagree with you.

That was until last week, when The Jeff Dunham Show became Comedy Central’s highest-rated debut ever. 5.3 million people watched—and this was against heavy competition including The Office and Grey’s Anatomy. 5.3 million people? For a ventriloquism show starring a Halloween skeleton badly impersonating a Muslim terrorist?

I want my country baaaaaack!