Oscars 2014 Superlatives: The Real Winners and Losers from the Academy Awards

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If the Academy asks us to sit down for over three and a half hours to watch an awards ceremony, you better believe that we are going to make a list of superlatives that chronicles the good, the bad, and the ugly.

With that in mind: Here is TIME’s real winners and losers of the 2014 Academy Awards:

Most likely to get lice: Everyone in this selfie

Biggest missed opportunity: Lice or not, Liza missed out the most viral tweet of all time

Most beautiful: According to host Ellen DeGeneres, “I’m not going to say who looks the most beautiful, but it’s clear: It’s Jared Leto.”

Most appropriate award presenter: Kim Novak for Frozen

86th Annual Academy Awards - Show

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

Most likely to be the butt of a joke: Jonah Hill’s penis, which actually got called out by DeGeneres more times than Jennifer Lawrence’s fall last year.

Dress most likely to cause a seizure: Anne Hathaway. So. Many. Sparkles.

Biggest snub: Leonardo DiCaprio to the pizza guy. Say yes to the carbs, Leo.

Most appreciated off-book moment: Bill Murray’s tribute to Harold Ramis

Best source of current events: Jared Leto’s Oscar acceptance speech

Most likely to get a Dancing with the Stars deal: Pharrell and Meryl

Biggest Twitter fail of the night: NBC News

It was corrected to this:

Best blazer: Nicholas Reed, Oscar winner for documentary The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life

Most likely to shatter our Frozen hearts: Idina Menzel.

Most likely to be sold for tens of thousands of dollars on eBay: Lupita Nyong’o’s lip balm

Best mea culpa: And the Oscar goes to … The Academy