Taylor Swift Doesn’t Want Men To Play Games, But If They Do, She Will Win

The pop star shared some dating advice in a new cover story

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Taylor Swift may have made a career out of singing about heartbreak and relationships gone wrong, but she definitely doesn’t have any regrets. What she does have — in spades, apparently — is wisdom to share.

“If I could go back and give myself any advice, I wouldn’t [do it] because I’ve had such incredible adventures,” she tells Glamour magazine on the set of her shoot for the March cover. That’s hard to deny — the pop star has been romantically linked to Joe Jonas, Jake Gyllenhaal, John Mayer, Taylor Lautner, Conor Kennedy and Harry Styles. (To name a few.)

But that doesn’t mean that nobody benefits from Swift’s life experience; she just doles out her tips to those who need it more. “I have a lot of friends who are 16, 17 and 18 and I do definitely give them the advice.”

Swift shares some of that dating advice with Glamour, divulging one of her tried and true tricks to editor Cindi Leive:

CL: Here’s something our readers ask about constantly: When you feel like a guy you’re dating has the upper hand, how do you change the game?
TS: Freeze-out.
CL: What’s the freeze-out?
TS: You don’t respond to any of his texts or calls until he does something desperate [like] shows up. Or he calls and leaves a voice mail. Something that makes it very clear to you that he’s interested.
CL: Have you employed the freeze-out?
TS: [Nods. Pauses.] I think everyone should approach relationships from the perspective of playing it straight and giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Until he establishes that this is a game. And if it’s a game, you need to win. The best thing to do is just walk away from the table.

Swift also notes that keeping quiet during a fight is essential. “Never yell,” she says. “Silence speaks so much louder than screaming tantrums.”

Maybe, but does it speak louder than hit single after hit single?

16 comments
Jenhacker
Jenhacker

T-Swift, I can't say I agree with your advice. You also don't have a proven track record of successful relationships so any advice you offer has to be taken with a grain of salt. At The Single Diaries we often get asked for dating advice from our readers. We go straight to the source of our questions, the guys, for help with the answers. Check out these 5 truths we learned from advice given to us from the men: http://www.thesinglediaries.com/guy-confessions/5-truths-opposite-sex/

SallyBethEdelstein
SallyBethEdelstein

Advice has been dispensed by celebrities for decades. How does Taylor Swifts stack up against other relationship do's and don'ts?

 For all you Valentines with a special date marked down on your calendars, some vintage advise from 1946 for do's and don'ts for hooking up.  http://wp.me/p2qifI-21S

 

Trotter
Trotter

Sounds to me that the people with baggage on here are the ones who have made up their minds about Swift to the point they dismiss what she actually says in favor of their own distorted point of views (which apparently support the idea that women should put up with men no matter how psychologically abusive they may be). 

How can you read a line like "... everyone should approach relationships from the perspective of playing it straight ... until HE establishes it is a game" and decide that Swift is the problem? 

The question put to her was: "When you feel like the guy you're dating has the upper hand, how do you change the game"  -- meaning the GUY has been playing games, running hot-and-cold, trying to control her. And her basic answer to the question given her was: DON'T BE CONTROLLED. And ultimately walk away from the table, if necessary. Know when to quit.

That's good advice to young women, too many of whom sublimate their own considerable talents because they intimidate some control-freak loser.

That's something Taylor won't do.One more reason why she is such a great role model.

666numerodelabestia
666numerodelabestia

Love how the current generation of young people is taking relationship advice from THIS person.  Just love it.  What a bunch of lost souls, all trying desperately to be loved, and never achieving it because they think other people need to be crushed in order for you to feel good.  And in fact, what they call 'love' is really only 'lust.'  Endlessly desirous of seeing others pursue them, and unhappy whenever they aren't the center of everyone's attention.  Desperate and emotionally warped, narcissistic and vapid, the whole bloody generation, and this ice queen, passive aggressive psycho b!tch as their icon.

jeaniechampagne
jeaniechampagne

I want first to state something about the negativity here - that actually surprises me so much.  Belittling someone who has risen remarkably in her field is phenomenal - at her age - and she did it all herself - which tells me she is extremely talented.  She is not cheap or trashy - quite the contrary.  She has chosen not to wear tiny lingerie type costumes during her performances - instead she choose elegance - gorgeous gowns.  Her makeup is just right - it's not overdone and it's not cheap -no heavy eyebrows and eyeliner.  Likewise with her hair --  she chooses hairstyles that compliment her naturally feminine style - though I am sure she has enhanced her either light brown or ash blond natural color.  Lastly, her performance is never trashy - she does not move any body part in a sexual nature -- otherwise known as humping -- she doesn't do that!   Why are you young women here in the comment section posting such mean things about one of your own -- women should stick together.  TS deserves better.  She is a wonderful role model.  As far as "all" the guys in her life --  I really doubt they were all love interests and doubt most could even be considered a relationship.  What girl hasn't gone through a slew of dates to find that special one which I feel sure she will!  What girl hasn't played hard to get --  #1 girl game --- come on - be truthful!  You don't have to like her songs and you don't have to be a fan ----  but do you really have to be so mean?

opedanderson
opedanderson

Life is so unfair.  How can this ugly stupid cow have so much?

steamcrazy1
steamcrazy1

TS:

You are NEVER going to have a meaningful relationship in a hetero arrangement until you cease being dominating and threatening!.  BTW the same goes for a potential partner in the setup.  

The switch to POSITIVE inputs from each partner instead creates the potential for a truly great relationship IMO.  

Not gonna tell you my age or experience but I've been on both sides of the fence--and I recommend that you find a great therapist to assist you.  You're pretty great--but you have some pretty serious baggage too.  

FWIW and best wishes for great success in all aspects of your life. 

B. 

johnwmarcus
johnwmarcus

Oh brother. Her freeze out is called passive aggressive behavior.  Google it. It is a diagnosable psychopathology in the DSM.  It is a psychological pathology and will make people hate you. It will break up your relationships permanently. Do not follow this advice as it will wreck your life. 

jimbones97239
jimbones97239

This coming from one of the most fake, conceited celebrities alive today... right.

AlecLeamas
AlecLeamas

Next up is Justin Bieber's advice on how to act responsibly when out with your friends.

thomasew52
thomasew52

Taylor Swift giving relationship advice, that is really funny!

marryman
marryman

This type of advice is why this chick probably goes through a different guy every week. What a tool. She isnt going to be 25 and rich forever, and that type of juvenile game wont work shes older. 

glbetrkkr
glbetrkkr

As I've become older, I've realized games are for kids. That whole "don't respond and let them make a move" is infantile. Granted, at Swift's age, one really doesn't know much (in spite of thinking you do). Freeze out? C'mon. If you feel like a guy has a upper hand, either walk away or let him know how you feel. If he doesn't get it, move on. There are plenty of fish out there. Keep making music, Taylor, not giving relationship advice. 

Janette
Janette

From the mouth of babes. I remember when I was 19 that I truely believed I knew everything there was to know. That's certainly embarrassing, not to mention delusional.

PeterHall
PeterHall

I never play games when it comes to relationships, in fact Ive found its the girls who play games and who cause drama, most of them probably do it subconciously, but they still do it.  I liked what she said about everyone playing it straight, giving people the benefit of the doubt, and not having any ulterior motives. However I dislike what she said about the freeze out, I always respond to a call or text as soon as I know Im getting one. If I cant talk, I either message them that I cant talk, or I call them back later and explain why I wasnt available. Thats just common decency

ftb1777
ftb1777

@jeaniechampagne You seem to be the only one here that read the article. Swift has a good head on her sholders and will continue to go far.