Let’s face it, the thing that people were most excited for this Golden Globes was to see who beloved hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Fey would roast throughout the broadcast.
And even though the comedic dream team didn’t get too harsh during their hilarious opening, considering how crazy Taylor Swift went after Fey and Poehler warned her to steer clear of Michael J. Fox’s young son last year (when he was Mr. Golden Globes), we’re sure that some sensitive Hollywood egos got bruised. Here’s who got called out during this year’s opening:
Last Year’s Nominees: “No offense to the movies and nominees last year, but this year is legit,” Fey said.
Matt Damon: “Any other night you’d be a big deal, but tonight and don’t take this the wrong way, you’re basically a you’re basically a garbage person,” Poehler said. (Damon ran with the joke later in the award ceremony).
Martin Scorsese: The hosts postulated if he was nominated for the award for “tiniest man with the biggest glasses.”
George Clooney: Fey described Gravity with the Cliff’s Note summary, “George Clooney would rather float into space and die rather than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.”
Jonah Hill: ““If I want to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I’d go to one of Jonah Hill’s pool parties,” Poehler said when discussing Wolf of Wall Street. (Then Fey talked about how he used a prosthetic penis in the film… “so you have that to look forward to next time you eat in Planet Hollywood.”)
Joaquin Phoenix: “One of my favorite films this year is the movie Her, which takes place in the not so distant future,” Fey said. “Which is perfect, because so does Joaquin Phoenix.”
Matthew McConaughey: “For ‘Dallas Buyers Club’ he lost 40 pounds, or what actresses call ‘being in a movie.’”