8 Life Lessons We Learned from Listening to the New Miley Cyrus Album

'Bangerz'—on sale next week—offers precious insights into the way Miley thinks. And it will likely rule the pop charts.

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The moment that Miley Cyrus fans have long been waiting for is here.

We’re talking about Miley confirming that she is pregnant with Juicy J’s baby. Kidding!

No, of course we mean the imminent arrival of her new album Bangerz. The follow-up to 2010’s Can’t Be Tamed is in stores on October 8, but the album is now streaming on iTunes.  Eager fans, who’ve already heard the summer anthem “We Can’t Stop” and the chart-topping power ballad “Wrecking Ball,” can now hear additional tracks featuring the contributions of such guest artists as Britney Spears, Ludacris, Future, French Montana, Big Sean, and Nelly.

You can read a more serious evaluation of the album below, but we’ll start with:

Eight valuable life lessons we learned from Miley Cyrus’ Bangerz:

1.   The more you party, the less it’s a party. Or something like that.  From the track “Love Money Party”:  “Party ain’t nothing but a party / When you party every day / It ain’t nothing but a party.” Feel free to try it on your boss next time you are late for work.

2.  But don’t party too early. It’s 12 o’clock and I don’t want to party”  ["4x4"]

3. When in doubt, spell it out.  “I got two, ooh letters for you / One of them is F and the other one is U”  ["FU"]

4. It pays, literally, to have a rich father. Like Billy Ray Cyrus.  “All I need is milli’s when I got Billy on my speed dial”   ["SMS (Bangerz)"]

5.  If you want to keep a man, keep a battery pack. So advises guest vocalist (and noted relationship expert) Britney Spears  ["SMS (Bangerz)"]

6.  Work hard and stay committed to your work. Because it takes a true professional to be able to sing, with a straight face, a line like (from “Do My Thang”):  “Bang b**ch, you think I’m strange, b**ch? / It’s bananas like a fucking ‘rangutan, b**ch.” Or this one, from “SMS (Bangerz)”:  I’m flying high upon the bird, acrophobia.

7.  She who LOLs first, may not LOL last.  “Ooh it seemed like everything was going fine / I found the love that I thought was gonna last / But then I accidentally saw a few things in your cell / I even LOL’d man I should’ve known”  ["FU"]

8. Twerk if you want to.  Because, according to “We Cant’ Stop,”  “Only god can judge us/ Forget the haterz ‘cause somebody loves ya“:

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MTV
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As for the album itself:

Bangerz, which is co-executive produced by Cyrus and Atlanta beatmaker Mike Will Made It, is the former Disney star’s fourth studio album, but her first at the helm. With the album’s two lead singles “Wrecking Ball” and “We Can’t Stop” having topped the charts, there’s little doubt that Cyrus knows what she is doing. The album is filled with competent, if somewhat generic, pop tracks produced by a team of top-tier producers including Pharrell Williams and Dr. Luke.

The glossy tunes on the album reveal a young artist balancing earnest emotion and a staged sassiness that young fans will undoubtedly eat up. The best tracks — including “We Can’t Stop,” “Get It Right,” “4×4″ and “Do My Thang” — give a hint to Cyrus’ future as an artist, namely working with skilled producers to craft catchy pop songs that will roost on the charts.

The least successful tracks on the album such as “FU” and “Someone Else” show Cyrus working out issues surrounding her very public break-up with former fiancé Liam Hemsworth.  While emotion is key to a great song, too much emotion can make a track sound like a techno dirge.

If you can’t stop and won’t stop wanting more Miley, be sure to check out Miley Cyrus: The Movement, a behind-the-scenes look at Cyrus’ infamous twerk-filled MTV Video Music Awards performance, which premieres on MTV this Wednesday at 10 p.m.

If you haven’t yet gotten on board the Miley Express, Pharrell Williams, who collaborated with Cyrus on Bangerz, offers a nice description of the Miley phenomenon in the MTV doc: “Her dad is Billy Ray Cyrus, her godmother is Dolly Parton, and she grew up in the era when kids listen to hip-hop. People ask, ‘Why is she twerking? Why is she doing this?’ Because she’s a product of America.” In short: You only have yourself to blame, so you may as well stream Bangerz online here.

MORE: Miley Cyrus, Marketing Genius

11 comments
MaryDtn9
MaryDtn9

The Media, Press, Paps and Haters are always first out if the gate with their negative comments, criticisms, half truths and made up stories. Worst than this, there are also powerful groups, with their own hidden agendas, who want individuals to fail because they fear them, they don’t like then and they can’t control them. These naysayers are emotionally stunted and swamped in phobias.

The negativity never lasts and the truth always surfaces. It’s never easy for these individuals when they put themselves out there. Only these individuals are capable and willing to takes risks. Fame, like life, is temporary; let them enjoy it while it lasts.

It is most important to be aware of this environment and if you must respond, respond accordingly. We can all change. It’s never too late to change.Hate hurts everyone. Think before you speak. Don’t hate, be kind.

Well done Miley, you rock.

LionelMes
LionelMes

She is a talented singer, she has great. I like music and i use relax on friv jogos

#libtardedamerica
#libtardedamerica

you forgot number 9). any attention is good attention -- as seen by the number of idiotic "journalists" who refuse to stop writing about every last aspect of her pathetic, untalented life

JohnDavidDeatherage
JohnDavidDeatherage

the world waits with baited breath for Miley Cyrus to "jump the shark" for good.

eagle11772
eagle11772

I never listen to any of these young whippersnappers.  GOOD rock n roll ended with Tommy James and The Shondells in 1969, so that's my cutoff date for music.

DanBruce
DanBruce

Reading those lyrics, I am reminded of the Scripture that says "The dog isturned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire" (2 Peter 2:22).

kelana
kelana

@MaryDtn9  When accusing the media, press and haters of being powerful groups, with their own agenda who want individuals to fail because they fear them and can't control them, it's not a good idea to also accuse them of being emotionally stunted and swamped with phobias. Because those words can be thrown back at you (seriously, not everyone who makes negative comments about an individual is out to get them).


Negative comments comes with fame, no public figure can escape it. And in the case of celebs, it actually benefits the because it gives them attention which many enjoy. If fame was all rainbows and lollipops, it would fade before it really even began because negativity is what grabs interest (celebs who are train wrecks get way more attention than ones who are "boring".) and sells tabloids.

commentonitall
commentonitall

@#libtardedamerica 

I find her annoying and over exposed as well, but clearly she has a good voice and some talent.  It's just the way she presents it that causes people not to see it.  You sound more jealous than anything when you come off so strong, but you can say what you like.

kelana
kelana

@timereader72 hardcore fangirl/fanboy?. I have nothing against Miley, I'm actually impressed with how she was able to successfully make the transition from Disney teen star to adult star. However I highly doubt anyone would have the green monster when it comes to her, a celeb who is barely respected and whose career is based on her antics is no one to be jealous of, there will come a time when she will have to rely strictly of her talent instead of sexually provocative behaviour because a middle age woman twerking, constantly sticking her tongue out when a cameras aimed at her and making music videos barely dressed will not be an attractive sight.


In regards to the people who don't like/hate her, if they were going to be jealous of a celeb they would most likely pick one they actually admire. That would at least make sense, being jealous of one they dislike/hate doesn't.


I'm sure Miley doesn't want any of her haters/critics to leave her alone, they bring her way more attention than her fans do.