Consider Mary Pols’ list of the Top 10 Worst Movies a public-service announcement. Cloud Atlas takes the cake. Turns out, six different plot lines are quite confusing, and watching people make the same mistakes over and over again is excruciating. “There’s as much opportunity to get attached to characters as there would be watching people go by on a roller coaster,” Pols writes. A telling sign: Tom Hanks did not want to discuss the film on The Colbert Report at the end of October, but he was more than happy to talk about his past roles as trick-or-treaters dressed as movie characters played by Hanks dropped by Colbert’s place one by one.
Pols also didn’t buy into Danny DeVito as the Lorax or Abraham Lincoln as a vampire hunter — though neither did the public; Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter grossed only $37.5 million this summer, according to Box Office Mojo. And perhaps Bill Murray should stick to roles like the loveable basket case in What About Bob instead of the 32nd President of the United States and ladies’ man in Hyde Park on Hudson.
The full list of flops is here. You’ve been warned.