George Lazenby’s only entry in the James Bond pantheon opens with M, Q and Moneypenny bickering about where James Bond is and why nobody has seen him lately. The Prime Minister would like to be “informed personally” once they find 007, presumably because he doesn’t want this bunch of clowns running the shop by themselves.
But where is Bond? On a secluded beach somewhere, saving a beautiful woman from drowning. He then carries her back up the beach where he revives her with an overwhelmingly cheery, “Good morning! My name’s Bond. James Bond.”
It’s a decent introduction to the new face of the franchise, undercut somewhat by the total lack of explanation as to where Bond is or what he’s doing there.
All he gets for his efforts, meanwhile, is a stickup. “Don’t move, Mr. Bond,” intones one of two armed assailants wearing fetchingly matched blue turtlenecks. With little fanfare they then proceed to try to kill him in various ineffective ways. The action is sclerotic and amateurish, all haymaker punches and leg sweeps. When Bond finally dispatches both villains, he looks up only to find that the mysterious woman has stolen his car.
Lazenby sighs and, in a line that could sum up his entire, all-too-brief appearance in the James Bond canon, says to the camera: “This never happened to the other fellow.”