Billy Joel Meets Stephen King Meets The Simpsons

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Billy Joel: Ezra Shaw / Getty Images

This post includes spoilers for Stephen King’s 11/22/63 and for the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” Yes, both.

Matt Selman, an executive producer of The Simpsons, has undertaken the task of writing the version of Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” as it would have been recorded in the universe of Stephen King’s 11/22/63, in which JFK’s assassination is foiled at the last minute by George Amberson (Jake Epping), based on an idea co-conceived by Simpsons writer Tim Long. He has replaced the original lyrics with only the specific historical references King includes in his revisionist history of the second half of the 20th century. For added verisimilitude, he has included lyrics about historical events that are mentioned to have happened in both timelines, King’s and ours. Why? Because this is a thing he does, and it’s not the first such song parody Matt Selman has written about for TIME.

“A few ‘real’ references have been included because A) I inferred they would have also have occurred in the King Universe, and B) I ran out of new historical information, of which the book does not give much,” Selman says. “Also, for some reason unknowable alternative history reason, alternative history Billy Joel chose to put out this version of ‘We Didn’t Start The Fire’ in 2012.”

Without further ado:

“WE DIDN’T START THE FIRE” BY BILLY JOEL (STEPHEN KING “11/22/63” VERSION)

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnny Ray

South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television

North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe

Rosenberg, H-Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom

Brando, The King And I, and The Catcher In The Rye,

Eisenhower, Vaccine, England’s got a new queen

Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No, we didn’t light it

But we tried to fight it

Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiov,

Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc

Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dacron

Dien Bien Phu Falls, Rock Around the Clock

Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn’s got a winning team

Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland

Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev

Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No, we didn’t light it

But we tried to fight it

Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac

Sputnik, Zhou Enlai, Bridge On The River Kwai

Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball

Starkweather Homicide, Children of Thalidomide

Buddy Holly, Ben Hur, Space Monkey, Mafia,

Hula Hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go

U2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy,

Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No, we didn’t light it

But we tried to fight it

Hemingway, Eichmann, Stranger in a Strange Land,

Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion

Lawrence of Arabia, British Beatle mania

Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British Politician sex,

J.F.K. NOT BLOWN AWAY, AMBERSON SAVES THE DAY!

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning

Since the world’s been turning

We didn’t start the fire

No, we didn’t light it

But we tried to fight it

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, EARTHQUAKE IN LOS ANGELES

MARTIN SHOT, SAIGON ROCKED, CHICAGO BURNS, HANOI DROP

WALLACE DEAD, CURT LEMAY, BYE-BYE BOMBAY

Ayatollah’s in Iran, RONALD REAGAN’S DEADLY PLAN

BLIND BEATLE, JONESTOWN, VERMONT YANKEE MELTDOWN

FORD BREEZE, MORE QUAKES, AIDS, Crack, MIAMI SHAKES

HOKKAIDO IS UNDER SEAS, PRESIDENT HILARY

MAINE LEAVES USA, WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY?

We didn’t start the fire

It was always burning since the world’s been turning.

We didn’t start the fire

But when we are gone

It will still burn on, and on, and on, and on…

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBg6wn_ud2Q]