Every Monday, for your planning purposes, we will lay out the week ahead in entertainment. (All times refer to EDT.)
1. Full Steam Ahead
We seem to have taken the “never let go” thing pretty seriously because Titanic is still afloat. To mark the upcoming 100th anniversary of the real-life shipwreck, James Cameron’s version is back in theaters — in 3D! — this Wednesday. And if a giant 3D iceberg isn’t enough for you, you can bring home the Discovery Channel’s historical look at the ship, on DVD this Tuesday.
2. Sex Sells
50 Shades of Grey, a best-selling erotic novel that started as fan fiction, has gone viral in digital form and will finally be widely available in the U.S. in hard copy. The small Australian publisher that first produced the book couldn’t keep up with demand, but on Tuesday expect bookstores to overflow with the NSFW paperback. (Upside to purchasing in a shop: you can buy another book to hide it in if you plan to read in public.)
(MORE: ‘Fifty Shades’ of Frenzy)
3. Tickled Pink
Being Elmo, the moving documentary about Kevin Clash, the man behind one of the most famous puppets in the world, is out on DVD on Tuesday. Even those of us past Sesame Street age may need some help to count all the awards it has won.
4. FYI, Not Actually March Anymore
The Madness ends on Monday at 9:00 pm, with the NCAA basketball tournament finals (broadcast on CBS). If you decide to pretend you never filled out a bracket in the first place, we won’t tell.
5. Golden Oldies
People who have loved Wilson Phillips since the ’90s will be happy on Tuesday when their new album, Dedicated, full of covers from their ancestral bands the Beach Boys and Mamas & The Papas, is released. The band may have some new listeners, too, after a major cameo in last year’s Bridesmaids.
6. It Seems Like Only Yesterday
Thinking about your own high-school reunion might make you feel old, and thinking about American Reunion could do an even better job of it. When the latest American Pie movie hits screens on Friday, it’ll have been more than a decade since our collective first time. And just think how the actors — some now successful grown-up stars, some not so much — must feel about going back to East Great Falls High…
7. Yes, Even Snails
The latest book in the burgeoning parenting-lessons-from-France genre is Karen Le Billon’s French Kids Eat Everything, out Tuesday. The book promises a story of banishing picky eating by adopting continental mealtime behaviors, but we hope the title isn’t actually true.
(MORE: Why American Kids are Brats)
8. Seniors Play the Darndest Pranks
Betty White’s world-domination tour continues on Wednesday when her new show, Betty White’s Off Their Rockers, premieres at 8:00 pm on NBC. The show takes a familiar genre — pranks are played on unsuspecting people and recorded for our amusement — and gives it a geriatric twist with elderly jokesters, proof that age does not equal maturity.
9. No More Neigh-Sayers
War Horse, the moving tale of a young boy searching for his horse during World War I, will achieve the rare BTMD on Tuesday. (We made that up, but it’s like an EGOT for stories: Book, Theater, Movie and, now, DVD.)
10. Flatt-out Exciting
Country band Rascal Flatts, perhaps best known for their crossover hit “What Hurts the Most,” releases a new album, entitled Changed, on Tuesday. Despite their relatively recent pop-music appeal, they haven’t changed that much: since their last album, the band was invited to join the Grand Ole Opry.