Last night on Dancing with the Stars was the end of the semis. Next week, someone will bring home the Mirror Ball Trophy. So, who’s going to the finals?
The verdict: Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy samba’d into the sunset. The result wasn’t surprising, as the U.S. soccer star scored well below the other semi-finalists during Monday’s competition. While Maks is a fan favorite, his wardrobe of mesh shirts and tight pants couldn’t counteract Hope’s mediocre dance skills and an off-putting competitive streak. Guess Hope will have to settle for a boring old Olympic gold medal.
Least dramatic moment: The show kicked off with an encore performance of Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke’s saucy samba. To congratulate them for once again shaking their booties, they were immediately informed that they would be competing in the finale. Who needs dramatic tension, right?
Most awkward dance moves: When dance pop ensemble Cobra Starship hit the show to play their putative hit song “You Make Me Feel,” the dancers took over the ballroom floor, the stage, and every available surface. Two go-go girls even perched atop the judges’ table, forcing them (including crotchety old Len) to stand up and awkwardly clap-dance to the kids’ newfangled tunes.
Most shocking moment: Usual frontrunner J.R. Martinez had an off night due to a twisted ankle, but when they announced that he was in jeopardy of being eliminated, it was still surprising. It almost looked like J.R. had tears in his eyes. Let’s just pretend it was the lights, okay?
Best dance: The Muppets stopped by the Dancing with the Stars arena to perform a song from their forthcoming movie. While the spotlighted stars were Kermit and Miss Piggie, a troupe of Muppets including The Swedish Chef, Rowlf, Animal and Sam the Bald Eagle, performed a memorable routine. Yes, the human troupe was dancing, too, but they were completely overshadowed by OMG MUPPETS.
Best Bergeronism: Tonight, the best ones came not from the host, but from the reliably sarcastic Muppets Statler and Waldorf. When Bergeron asked them to rate the dance performance they said it best, “If they get rid of all this singing and dancing, I think it’ll be a hit.” “The movie?” “No, this show!”
Strangest collaborative effort: The evening’s Macy’s Stars of Dance performance was a so-called Design a Dance, which asked viewers to vote on a dancer, a song, and an outfit via the Macy’s website. The result was an odd mish mash. To wit, Derek Hough dancing to Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” in a costume one can only assume was inspired by a deep love of “Twilight.” Bravo, America.
Best use of a guest star: Former Queer Eye for the Straight Guy star and ex-Dancing with the Stars contestant Carson Kressley returned to the show. The producers sent him back into the closet as a sort of wardrobe correspondent, reporting on the sequins and spandex within, a role we can only hope will become permanent.
Tear-jerker of the night: The Macy’s Stars of Dance gave us an “It Gets Better” guide to being a male dancer. That’s right, as hard as it is to imagine, even Maksim Chmerkovskiy may have been mocked on his way to fame, fortune and objectification. The gents of The Gold School of Dance reminded us that even though they struggle with bullying on their way to their Billy Elliot dreams, they also get to hang out in a room filled with hot chicks at least twice a week.
Come back next week when the top three dancers battle it out for the championship.
Did the right contestant go home? Tell us in the comments.