Nickelback is scheduled to perform during halftime at the Detroit Lions’ Thanksgiving Day game and 43,000 football fans are pissed.
To date, 43,849 people have signed a petition to “Replace Nickelback as the halftime show for the Thanksgiving game,” on the website Change.org, explaining that Nickelback is “awful” and that forcing people to sit through their performance is “completely unfair to those of us who purchased tickets to the game.” This has got to be embarrassing for Canada’s least favorite alt-rockers, who have been waiting ‘with arms wide open’ to—wait, no, that’s Creed. The band that wants to take Detroit ‘higher’—nope, that’s Creed too. Wait, what does Nickelback sing again? Oh right, that one where Chad Kroeger keeps trying to make you look at old photographs.
Here are a few choice pleas from the anti-Nickelback petition’s signers:
I’m from Alberta, home of Nickleback [sic], and I would like to stop them from performing anywhere else
I am signing this because I have not yet lost my hearing
NICKELBACK TORE MY FAMILY APART
I would like to keep my food down on Thanksgiving
I’d rather put my head next to a car horn for 15 minutes
Think of the children!
Haven’t the good people of Detroit been through enough?
The NFL has yet to say whether or not it will heed the petition and replace Nickelback with a different act. Despite Detroit’s long musical history (Birthplace of Motown! Eminem! The White Stripes!), it seems pretty unlikely. But if they do ditch the group, Detroit’s own Mayer Hawthorne is making it easy for them to find a replacement. The soul singer has released a “campaign video” in which he seeks Americans’ votes for the Lions’ halftime replacement. “I just booked my flight home,” he says in the video, “I’m gonna be eating my turducken with my family, and I hear there may be a spot opening up [so] I need your vote.”
You’ve got our vote, Mayer Hawthorne. Although your taste in Thanksgiving Day meat is questionable.
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