If you have sex, you die. In teen horror movies, those who couple off for a lusty moment or two usually end up losing more than their shirts. Friday the 13th features an entire cast of randy teen camp counselors who are dismembered one by one as they sneak off to earn the film its R rating, most only living a few minutes past their trysts before they’re greeted with an ax to the face. If you want to up your odds of survival, keep your virginity intact and your clothes on. As Psycho proved, even showers aren’t safe. Best to bathe clothed.
Top 10 Ways To Survive A Horror Movie
With the release of the fourth Scream film comes a fresh cast of hopeful horror survivors. TIME brings you the rules to follow if you want to make it out alive.
Keep Your Pants On
Full List
Surviving in a Horror Flick
- Don’t Ever Investigate Or Say You’ll “Be Right Back”
- Turn Around, Because It’s Always Behind You
- Never Watch A Horror Movie When You’re In One
- Make Sure Your Car is Always in Perfect Working Order
- Don’t Ever Split Up
- When Haunted, Just Move Out of the Damn House
- Wear Comfortable Shoes
- Avoid Proms and All Other High School Parties
- Always Assume Your Attacker Is Still Alive
- Keep Your Pants On
