The Crudest Canine in Show Biz
It’s hard to choose a favorite Late Night character. There’s the horny manatee, the fast-talkin’, dangerous-product-hawkin’ Traveling Salesman, and the always memorable Pimpbot 5000, who, as Conan once put it, “combines the classic sensibilities of a 1950s robot with the dynamic flair of a 1970s street pimp.” Or how about the violently ill Muppet known as Vomiting Kermit, who once “dispensed” hot chocolate while an autoerotic grizzly dubbed the Masturbating Bear provided whipped cream (out of a can, people!).
But no other character has enjoyed as much success as the verbosely titled Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, who made his first appearance on Late Night in 1997 during a skit on the Westminster Dog Show (he was banned from the event the following year … and then personally invited to return the year after that). Whether he’s crashing the Republican National Convention, helping the Obamas choose the perfect pooch or suing Leona Helmsley’s dog, America can’t seem to get enough of him. Witness the cigar-smoking Rottweiler doing what he does best: mauling a group of unsuspecting everyday folk with his biting wit (if you can describe a bunch of die-hard, costumed Star Wars fans as “everyday folk,” that is).
Next: Houston: Where Nobody Knows Your Name
Houston: Where Nobody Knows Your Name
The messy fallout between David Letterman and NBC made Conan’s debut as the new host of Late Night more awkward for the gangly Irishman; the show’s opening sketch on Sept. 13, 1993, featured Conan attempting to hang himself as a result of all the media hype. And Houston, perhaps more than any other U.S. city, seemed determined to shut out the relatively unknown comedy writer — airing his show at 2:40 a.m., after repeats of Ricki Lake, Access Hollywood and the Jenny Jones Show.
So in 1997, Conan decided to take a field trip to the nation’s fourth largest city to find out who was tuning in during the middle of the night. The first problem he encounters? Finding any people at all. “Things have really gotten kind of quiet,” Conan observes from behind the steering wheel of his rental car. “And it is 11:40 … what I’m hoping is they’re taking a nap so they can get up at 2:40 and watch the show.”
After lying to an elderly M*A*S*H fan that his program is “primarily a medical drama set in Korea in the ’50s,” Conan attempts to exploit Texas’ love of country music by playing his “new” honky-tonk theme song. But Conan’s adventure turns downright scary when an imposing man called Buffalo approaches him in a bus terminal at 3 a.m., yelling, “We don’t show that kind of s___ in Houston,” before asking, “Where’s your crappy buddy?” (referring to sidekick Andy Richter). After persuading the man that “only the first year was crap,” Conan turns to the camera and says meekly, “I was just almost murdered.”
Next: Apple Picking with Mr. T
