Tuned In

Iron Chef: The Michelle Obama Edition

Speaking of liberal indoctrination by edutainment programs, Michelle Obama’s efforts to turn us all into communist vegans is not stopping at Sesame Street. Food Network announced that Iron Chef America will be airing a special two-hour episode Jan. 3, taped at the White House, featuring the First Lady and her much-publicized kitchen garden.

Says the network, host Alton Brown will bring chefs Bobby Flay, Emeril Lagasse and Mario Batali to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue to battle with White House Chef Cristeta Comerford. The four chefs, divided into teams, will have to devise a five-course “American meal,” using ingredients plucked from the garden. Ted Allen (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy) will be on hand to do floor reporting, and to make viewers go gay.

In seriousness, as much as I love cooking shows, I’ve never been much of a fan of Iron Chef’s cheeseball cook-offs, especially the American version. But with a lineup increasingly dedicated to cakes, road food and Paula Deen, it’s good to see Food Network devote a special to growing and cooking with fresh vegetables. (Also, they’ll be using honey from the adjacent beehive. The White House has a freaking beehive! I’m sorry, but that’s so much cooler than a bowling alley or basketball court.)

And really, what American will not be moved by the ending of the episode, in which the President will ascend a podium in Kitchen Stadium, where a choir of a thousand schoolchildren will honor him by singing specially commissioned songs of praise and loyalty? (NOTE: That last part is parody! Not actually a part of the show! Although I also can’t prove it definitely won’t be part of the show! Hey, I’m just askin’ questions here!)

Related Topics: communism, Corporate Press Release Theater, Food Network, iron chef, michelle obama
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  • melissakaye44

    I’m a faithful Tuned In reader, but I don’t think I’ve ever commented before. Oh my GOSH that is some funny stuff right there. I snorted soda out of my nose at “Ted Allen will be on hand to do floor reporting, and to make viewers go gay.”

    So, thanks for this funny post. And a larger thanks for all of your wonderfully entertaining writing. It is much appreciated.

  • anon76

    Unfortunately Ted Allen is not the only danger here. As Stephen Colbert has pointed out before, baby carrots are trying to turn us gay. This makes this veg-o-centric episode of Iron Chef a double threat on the turning us gay front, in addition to the obvious dangers of indoctrinating us into the Obama worship movement. And I’m not even going to mention the bear danger that comes from having a beehive on the White House premises.

  • http://whatchannelareyouwatching.com Stephen Fofanoff

    I don’t see anything about the finished meals being vegetarian.. just that the ingredients be used to create a five course American meal.

    And, personally, I’m hoping it’s the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing Obama’s praises at the end.

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