Tuned In

TV-Free Tuesday: How Lucky I Am!

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What is this “television” you speak of? Having gone four days now with my TiVo / HD cable box on the fritz, I feel like a new man! I have entered the post-television age! I’ve streamed my news online. I’ve watched Stephen Colbert, from his pre-liberal-icon days, in Strangers with Candy reruns on my iPhone, via Joost. And I had a better than usual excuse not to watch last night’s Heroes!

 And, according to CNN.com, I have been liberated from the modern curse of “TiVo guilt.” This affliction is apparently what happens when people feel confronted by a long list of DVRed shows that they will never have time to watch. That, or what happens when feature writers really need to stretch to come up with trend stories. Either way, says some outfit’s “chief content officer”: 

“With infinite media, you have infinite choices, and therefore you have infinite opportunity costs… Your satisfaction index of the thing you actually choose can never be equivalent to the infinite opportunity costs, so we’re in this position of being behind the cognitive eight-ball all the time.”

What he said! But not for me! I’m out in front of that cognitive eight-ball! I’m unshackled, I tell you, unshackled!

(Oh, please, Mr. UPS man, bring me my new TiVo box. Bring it to me now.)