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There is no escape. / ABC/DISNEY CHANNEL

All parents of American tween-aged children, unless they are totally uncool and unfair and hate their kids, have seen to it that they have access to Disney Channel On Demand. (The fact that your cable company doesn’t offer it is no excuse! You could have moved! I never get anything I want!)

The reason, of course, is that tonight is the On Demand premiere of Camp Rock, the Disney Channel movie debut of The Jonas Brothers, who are the hottest thing to hit kid culture since Hannah Montana, despite the fact that their neckwear hates America.

The rest of you with cable can watch it Friday, when it debuts on Disney Channel. The rest of you without cable can watch it Saturday, when it debuts on ABC. The rest of you without televisions will be holding your weekly Tuesday-night family discussion of Aristotle’s Poetics tonight, right after the group taffy pull.

Any tales of Jonas-mania to share? I hear that can be even worse than Backyardigans obsession.