Tuned In

Project Runway Finale: The Quasi-Live Blog

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SPOILER ALERT: If you haven’t yet watched the Project Runway finale yet, sever your Internet hose immediately–there’s spoilage everywhere out there.

Rather than attempt some big essay-review that pretends I have any fashion expertise with which to assess the Runway finale, I decided just to pound it out, liveblog-style. Except that it’s no longer live. Which means that, while I correctly guessed the winner in my post, I could easily have gone back and edited that in. My only defense is that I’m too lazy and apathetic ever to have done that.

Find out who’s in and who’s out, after the jump:

– They seem to be trying hard to make us think that Christian actually feels threatened. The editing seems to be protesting too much.

– Tim asks whether Christian’s outfits might be “overdesigned,” but so far overdesign has never been held against anyone in a Project Runway finale.

– I like Jillian’s collection. No one designs to meet the needs of people going to war in the Renaissance wearing sweaters.

– Christian LOVES his layers. His models look like walking pastries. I mean that as a compliment.

– Rami: “[Christian] has a lot to learn in this industry in terms of designing clothes for women.” But “That looks like something a real woman would wear” is usually the kind of compliment judges give to someone who loses Project Runway.

– Jillian wields a mean cell phone.

– 10:10, and Christian uses his catchphrase, “fierce,” for the first time. He threatens to become the Emeril of Project Runway.

– Nice group-huggy moment between Tim Gunn and the three finalists. “You inspire me.” You can tell he’s sincere because his speech does not contain a single product placement.

– The finalists arrive at Bryant Park, which looks much more cavernous and impressive than when I attended the show. Real life looks much more blurry and low-def than it does on video. I was sitting in the second row, just past the end of the runway, where they put the ugly people.

– I’m sure I was somewhere in that ultra-fast-motion time-lapse crowd shot!

– Showtime! Jillian’s collection looks very sleek and powerful, with the various military elements, and as a former D&D player, I’m a sucker for chainmail.

– Jillian likes to curtsy. A lost art on television.

– Now it’s Rami’s turn. No one looks too much like a Roman statue, so he’s got that going for him. At the show, I found this collection a little dull, but I suspect men–especially fashion-ignorant men like me–are more impressed by gimmicks and less by, like, what women actually want to wear. Have I underestimated him? Mrs. Tuned In predicts he’ll win.

– “Everybody looks fierce!” Embrace the catchphrase, Christian!

– I like how Christian has decided to work almost entirely in black and beige and to use texture in place of color. What I didn’t notice from my seat at the runway show was that Christian’s collection had several Renaissance-y elements too. I don’t know if that similarity works against him, Jillian or Rami (whose line was inspired by Joan of Arc, minus the flames).

– What exactly is the opportunity to sell their line on Bluefly.com? I mean, theoretically I have the opportunity to sell my line on bluefly.com, right?

– “Too many inspirations.” Doesn’t sound good for Jillian, whose collection I liked best. Also, “Clothes that women are really going to want to wear,” which is usually a kiss of death.

– “Rather than ‘fierce,’ I’d say you’re major.” Nobody out-catchphrases Victoria Beckham!

– When did Rami go from “Oh, God, he’s draping everything again” to “You have the strongest point of view”?

– The judges, or the edited versions thereof, really like everybody!

– Jillian is auf’ed. Could Rami really win this thing, or is it editorial misdirection? I’m going with misdirection…

– …and misdirection it is! Well, good for Christian. I have no idea how he’ll fare in the real world of fashion, but he and his work kept me amused and intrigued for the season, which is at least a success in the reality-TV world of fashion. “People need to see more of the fierceness,” the winner tells us. But they need to hear a little less of the catchphrase. Especially in the Saturn commercials.