“Are you watching porn?” Mrs. Tuned In had walked in the living room to see, on the big screen, a young gentleman in a bathing suit sort of, well, crawling on top of a young lady on a hotel bed. No, I was in fact watching My Network TV’s Paradise Hotel 2, the sleaziest of the sleazy reality shows, the reality show that is produced by Fox yet too sleazy to air on the actual Fox network. (And mind you, this was the TV-14 broadcast version; the good, unedited stuff airs on Fox Reality Channel.) How did I know I wasn’t watching porn? Because in porn, the dialogue is better. On Paradise Hotel, hot, dumb young people drink and fight and drink and hook up and drink select “roommates” and drink, occasionally coming to a flash of personal insight like “I don’t really need alcohol to hook up with people.” Ah, sweet writers’ strike! In a month or so, I may have to admit that I’m watching this show not because there’s nothing else on, but because I want to.
Note to self: disinfect television screen before letting children watch cartoons on it.