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The Morning After: One in a Million

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So did anyone partake of the rich slab of Bravo cheese that was The Millionaire Matchmaker? You can admit it! I won’t tell anyone!

Stanger, second from right, makes the magic happen. / Bravo Photo: Ron Batzdorff

One thing that was wrong with this show from the get-go was the title: Is she a millionaire? Does she match up millionaires? Has she matched a million of them? As it turns out, Patti Stanger is in the business of hooking up rich men with less-than-rich women, via a business that she protested about, well, a million times is not an escort service. (Whatever would give us that idea?) As it is, she limits herself to giving her not-an-escorts such uplifting advice as not to use the title “Dr.” when introducing themselves: “If you lead with your business foot, the man’s ding-dong down there [illustrative hand gesture] neutralizes and goes down. He doesn’t want to compete in the bedroom!”

Why not just say that people who introduce themselves as “Dr.” in everyday conversations are tools? Gender-neutral and completely true!