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Dead Tree Alert: …And This Is Me On Top 10 Lists

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This week’s print TIME includes a special section of Top 10 lists for 2007, which is pretty much the same as the ones you’ve already seen online, except:

10. Fewer lists
9. Fewer words
8. On paper
7. You have to pay money to read them
6. You can take them to the bathroom
5. More risk of paper cuts
4. Less exposure to computer radiation
3. Prettier ads
2. Can roll them up and use them to swat houseflies
1. Includes this column by me, on the eternal popularity of top 10 lists:

There’s something magical about distilling wisdom into a single gleaming digit, which may be why so many religions use lists, from the Eightfold Path to the 95 Theses to the show-offy 613 laws of the Torah.

Behold, the miracle of paper!