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Celebrity-Addicted Network Networks with Celebrity Addicts

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You know what the problem with network press releases is? Not being able to hear the authors laughing maniacally to themselves as they type. But it’s easy enough to imagine when you look at VH1’s announcement for Celebrity Rehab, debuting Jan. 10, a reality show hosted by Dr. Drew Pinsky (Loveline), which is exactly what it sounds like. I am deeply offended, and also have made a note to set up a Season Pass.

The beauty note is the I Love New York network’s straight-faced attempt to call the show a high-minded public service:

This series will follow the real-life experiences of Brigitte Nielsen, Chyna, Daniel Baldwin, Jeff Conaway, Jessica Sierra, Jaimee Foxworth, Seth “Shifty” Binzer, Mary Carey, and Ricco Rodriguez as they undergo detoxification and treatment at a center in the Los Angeles area. While these celebrity patients may be accustomed to receiving special treatment in their everyday lives, they were in for a major surprise when they entered this no-frills treatment facility. Dr. Drew was aided in the process by his experienced and trusted staff of counselors, including registered nurses and other addiction experts.

In a television first, the highly respected Dr. Drew [ed: As highly respected as all doctors known by only their first names!], a practicing MD and assistant clinical professor at KECK USC School of Medicine, will give viewers an unflinching look at exactly how the rehab process works and what it feels like for participants. Dr. Drew hopes to use his celebrity patients to humanize the process and show viewers that treatment is a viable way to break the cycle of addiction. “The road to sobriety is not easy and rehabilitation and the recovery process are not to be taken lightly.” said Dr. Drew Pinsky. “My goal is to lift the veil and help my patients, as well as viewers, understand that if not taken seriously, addiction is a disease that will kill you.”

Or make you a national TV star. Kids, stay in school!