No sooner had Rosie O’Donnell been named to replace Meredith Vieira on The View then we started licking our chops in anticipation of the showdown: Rosie vs. Star Jones Reynolds, whose almost-instantaneous weight loss these past few months Rosie had charged publicly was the result of secret gastric-bypass surgery. We started counting the days until Rosie pressed her wit and weight advantages against Reynolds, and until the nigh-unrecognizable Reynolds marshaled her skills as a former prosecutor to marshal a defense. (Illness? Running a marathon a day? Secretly having been replaced by a skinny animatronic robot?)
Alas, it was not to be. Today Reynolds issued the following statement:
“I’ve spent an amazing nine years as a part of ‘The View’ family, and they have been the most professionally and personally rewarding years of my life. Through it all, I have appreciated the support of my family, my friends and most importantly the viewers, and I am incredibly grateful for all of the love that has been shown to me. ‘The View’ is now moving in a new direction, and I will not be returning this fall – but, wherever I go, I will carry a lifetime of memories with me. Thank you all so much for your invaluable love and support.â€
Not sure who "you all" refers to, but if you’re one of them, have yourself a big old sandwich today in Star’s honor.